Life priorities used to feel like a constantly shuffled deck of cards and suddenly the deck drops from my hands. A door to fatherhood stands before me. It’s like waking up with a jolt and realising how you are not quite ready, mentally, financially and physically.
Whatever plans or dreams I’ve had in my youth about fatherhood has been swept clean by the analytical system 2 brain.
My only peace is that I am not alone in this journey. The mother, my wife, my life. Sharing our fears and building reassuring answers bonds us together more than ever. We are still *scared shitless* but I think it’s a good state to be in to keep us grounded in preparation for growing from a couple to a family. It doesn’t matter that all of humanity before us have been through this. When it’s your turn, you learn a totally new set of value system and realligns the center of your known universe. Very little else matters.
We count the days down to September. Every healthy day brings our anticipation higher; much like the clicking noise a roller coaster makes as it is mechanically hoisted to the apex. I can only imagine life getting faster when he arrives.